13s retention
i clocked it while i was working on it.
the sour note.
the filler bar as bar #3.
the spelling of the word “gurl”.
i knew it the whole time i was working on it and it had me in my feelings for far too long.
but i posted it anyways.
and when i saw the 13 second average retention stat on the video, i turned to Eden and said “I BET ITS RIGHT AFTER GURL”
literally bullseye.
but regardless, i posted it. i didn’t waiver. i didn’t flinch. and my art is my art regardless of what the “average” listener wants or needs.
i have been so timid to reemerge with my music as public facing, and i was immediately confronted with this situation.
i’d like to think im not going to let it affect me, but as i sit here and refresh my phone waiting for silly little number go up, i realized something.
i’m not going to let it affect my art. and that’s not something i need to fight myself on, it’s something ive already put into place and am already happy with, as per my knowledge going into posting this.
as for it affecting me, this is my first time in the public eye with my music for half a decade. it’ll take a bit of getting used to. but at least i know that affecting me & affecting my art are two completely different things, and one of them is already solved.
even like, “i see my skin cracks as it tries to conform” is written on screen but the actual audio says “i feel my” and “while it tries” but i didn’t bother going back in and redrawing the lines because i was having fun making it rather than trying to make it perfect.
i think i have a healthy relationship with my art now, and i think i have a healthy ideology going into the whole “reemergence” thing, but i have some copium i need to huff as my one-hit-wonder trauma seeps back out of my skull waiting for number go up.
All that to say, I’m happy to be back.
goodnight y’all <3
Comment on this post